Why do I always manage to sabatage my own efforts? I have heard arguments that your body will crave what it needs, but what about when it craves what it doesn't need or what it is used to? Tonight, I made a bad decision, followed by some good ones. While I did do a good job of improving my decisions and moving on, I don't want to live making reactionary choices, but rather the right choice the first time.
Tonight, for some reason I can't figure out now, I bought a frozen pizza and TWO packs of different little debbie treats. I ate half the box of one, a quarter to a third of the other and half the pizza. I realized that I was too full after the second slice of pizza, but I forced myself to finish it and another slice. This doesn't make sense to me. I did great during the day, to distroy my efforts in the evening. I threw out the remainder of everything. I don't want to be tempted with it tomorrow, so now it is in the trash. To try to help the situation, I am going to do an extra workout tomorrow and not give up on this lifestyle.
I know I can do this, but I don't know why I find it so hard. Why is it that even when I know what the right decision is, I make the wrong one?
What are my motivations for chaging my life? I want to be more confident and accepted. I think I have a chance to start over in grad school. I want to be more popular. I want to be loved.
Do I think that someone must be skinny to have any of those? No. So, why do I feel that losing weight will assist me? I know that it is good for me to lose weight. I tell myself I don't have that much to lose, but I want to lose about 45-50 lbs. Thats a lot. Do I think it is not achievable? No. Do I think I can do it with hardwork? Yes.
Maybe when I figure out my true motivations, it will become easier...
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